I got a J.O.B.....company shrink!

Thank you God!!! Its a part time position over an hour away and the pay sucks (I made more my first year out of college), but I'm relieved that now I can have a little something to help take care of my family and possibly see a movie once in a while (not too often though, a movie ticket is $13.50!!!)  I had orientation and started training last week, it was all sooo much fun. The highlight of the week was two employees who couldn't wait to dish to me on EVERYBODY in the building and vent their angst. The first was the Older Lady who's been there forever, lets call her Ms. A. SHE HAS ISSUES. Before I could even put my pocket book down and hang up my jacket she laid it out for me; about the owners, Administrators, supervisors, and then proceeded to tell me about everybody in the building who LOVES her and who she cannot work with, who's "chicken shit", lazy and who as issues with her. It was like she has been waiting for me all her life to tell me every little sordid detail about the different employees. Between each little anecdote she stopped briefly to inform me about what is expected of me ( in her eyes nothing, because we get paid so little) and how to complete certain forms. Later she fell asleep at her chair, body slumped, head to the side, mouth gaping wide. She woke up briefly to tell me that she is allowed (Seriously???) and that no one really minds cause she's a HARD WORKER. HAHAHAHA Even I know that is a load of crap. The funny thing is, later that day I ran into two people that told me to stay clear of her and not get caught up in her drama, it is interesting to note that these were the two people that she told me has issues with her.....I LOVE IT!!! THEN...after my day with her she says to me very seriously, if the supervisor asks you how I did, please tell her I did a good job, I don't want anything negative to be said about me. I simply responded that I'll tell her what happened. I didn't have to, the next day the supervisor apologised to me for leaving me with Ms. A as she knows she can a bit "overwhelming". No shit!

The next day, I worked with a different assistant, and was given completely different information about my job duties, which I expected, Ms. A doesn't have a clue about assisting or how to maneuver herself in a workplace, except of course to order the free meals for employees and to take advantage of every perk the company offers...those she was absolutely correct about. At least she stays awake for something. Then it got me thinking, I really hope this is how she does her job, because, it wouldn't be hard to show her up and get attention for my HARD work, and get more hours. ANYTHING would be an improvement on what she does.

A couple days later, without even asking, I got the dutty, dutty, dutty low down about the intimate relationships of the different workers from the security guard. Apparently, my coworkers like to keep it in the family. My 8 hour day turned into an eight hour counseling session, as it turned out the poor fella has women issues. Then of course, because I'm fresh meat, he subtly tried to make a move in my direction. I quickly informed him that I was married (not true) with a son. However, that didn't work because he likes a challenge; my security guard bought me lunch. If I had know that all I had to do was tell a guy I was married to get a free meal I would have used that a long time ago.

My first week was very interesting, I hope it gets less interesting as I really don't want to hear about who's sleeping with who (well maybe a little bit), abnd who's chicken shit. If it doesn't at least I'll be putting my psych degree and counselling skills to use so it won't be a total waste.