Have you ever thought that maybe love can be a choice? I was thinking about that today. Can you choose to love or not to be in love with someone? How much control do you have over love? Is it like choosing to be happy in the face of difficult circumstances? Sometimes when things get so tough, its easy to just sit and wallow in your sadness, but then you say hey you know what, this sucks but I can still be happy about other things in my life. Maybe love is like that; if the circumstances are right, meaning if the other person is treating you well, showing you the affection you think you deserve, and tells you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you. Can you say this is good for me? I need this kind of a relationship and even though I am not there yet, I want to be there, and I want to be there with you. Sometimes, when you watch movies of folks who were matched by their families' they say that at first they weren't in love with their spouse or they loved another, but as time went on, they grew to mutually respect each other and respect bore affection and then a deep love for each other. Can love grow like that in real life? Can you pick when to love or who to love?

Conversely, can you choose not to love someone or when to fall out of love with someone? In the same manner of you saying I want o be in love with his person, can you say he or she is all wrong for me, I do not want to fall in love with him. You can choose not to socialize or communicate with his person anymore, and that might stop deeper feelings from developing, but if you're already in love, how effective can that mind set be? Or does time have a huge part to play in this? How much time do you need to fall out love? If you've known someone for a year versus ten years, does it take a shorter amount of time to fall out of love, or does it depend on the depth of feelings you had for that person? I remember Watching a Sex In the city Episode where Charlotte had a formula for the amount of time she was supposed to have to grieve a relationship, it was half the time of the length of the relationship. So for instance if you were in a ten year relationship it would take you 5 years to get over that person. That seems like a friggin long ass time to be grieving an asshole. Which is why I'm thinking if you want to fall out  of love, and not go through all the tears, depression, weigh gain/loss, rebound guys you should be able to just by saying he's a jackass, i don't love you anymore. And that should be that. It doesn't help you to get over someone if you're constantly thinking about the good times, that's counterproductive. A relationship ends for a reason, whether it was a mutual decision or not; when it ends move on.

The more you think about something, the more it becomes true. Just ask a pathological liar, they tell so many lies so often, they cant figure out the truth themselves. Its like customizing your mind, gearing your self yourself to be feel and be a certain way...it becomes habitual.Not loving, or loving someone becomes you.

What do you guys think? Can you condition yourself to love or not to be in love with someone? Should we just let our selves feel whatever comes our way and not be cognizant about choices over our love life? Is this at all possible?